


The accord according to Calvin (and Hobbes)

by amlago



Series: Mad geniuses and fluffy tigers [8]
Category: Calvin & Hobbes, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cameos, Fluff and Humor, Gen, NaNoWriMo, Not Beta Read, pet shop of horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 12:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16576493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amlago/pseuds/amlago
Summary: Calvin was, of course, one of the first to sign the accord. This was just another proof on how awesome he was.





	1. A rather civilized war

With the Avengers so famous more and more so called meta humans made themselves known, some good, some bad and some just strange. And let's us not talk about magic and the kind of mischief it could bring. So while most countries appreciated the Avengers coming to their aid, some didn't like the way they just arrived without any forewarning. And no country appreciated when they destroyed culture marks. So finally the UN decided to do something about it.

The accord, or rather the talk about the accord, is suddenly all over the net, people all have opinions on it, no matter if they read it or not. Some are against it and some approve of it but most are waiting until they really know what's in it.

In the tower the Avengers are divided. While Tony approves, at least after he's had a chance to make it better, Steve is against. It doesn't matter that he hasn't read it; he just doesn't want people he doesn't know to be able to tell him what he can or can't do.

Both Clint and Natasha are used to working with orders through SHIELD, but there they at least knew the person who gave them the order, so they are at the moment staying neutral.

Bruce is against, so long as Ross is involved, but hesitantly optimistic otherwise.

But the one who's most positive to the accord is Calvin, who wanted to sign it as soon as he heard about it. He just needs to convince the people responsible that he should.

"What's not to like? Signing it means that more people know how awesome I am."

"But it means that they can tell you what to do, they can force you to do something you don't want to do." Steve tries to explain.

"Like when Pepper tells me I have to work on one of the boring projects for a while? Or that I'm not allowed to destroy my workshop again for at least a month?"

"That's not the same."

"They could order you to fight," he doesn't manage to say anything else before Calvin starts laughing.

"They totally couldn't. I'm not a fighter, I'm an inventor. The only thing they would be able to ask if I would be to either test something they found or ask if I would be able to invent or improve something. And no, it wouldn't be any type of weapon, well not anything lethal since I don't do those."

The argument doesn't lead anywhere and Steve leaves feeling irritated that he couldn't make the other see the danger.

The arguments continue between the Avengers since no one is backing down.

"I'm sorry," Steve finally says. "I just don't think I can stay here, not when I think that you’re making a mistake."

"Wait, are you breaking up with me?" Tony asks and clutches his hand over his heart in a dramatic fashion.

"What? No, Tony, I'm not breaking up with you," Steve can't help the small amused smile. "I just need to get away for a while, all we do is arguing."

"Right, ok, and where are you planning on staying, young man?"

To Tony's delight Steve actually blushes.

"Suzie has a guestroom; she told me that I could stay there for a while."

Tony blinks and then grabs the nearest person, who happens to be Clint, and starts to fake cry on his shoulder.

"They grow up so fast, one minute they're all 'oh, what's this green frog on the TV' and the next thing you know they're leaving the nest so they can live with their girlfriend."

"There, there, you know he had to test his wings some time," Clint pats his shoulder with one hand while frantically waiving to Bruce to help him with the other.

Bruce pretends he doesn't see it since the last time Tony did something similar to him Clint just laughed.

"Wait, does this mean that I, as her oldest friend and you know the closest she has to family here, should give you some kind of warning or something?" Calvin asks.

"I guess?" Steve says uncertainty.

"Ok, let's see. Don't steal her cookies or chocolate, that will end badly for you. Do not under any circumstances comment on the books she reads, not unless you want to learn things that can never be unlearnt. And if you break her heart I'll put you back under the ice and make sure you'll never be found again."

"Don't worry; I'll be the perfect gentleman."

"What? I know you've met her, why would you do something like that? Just, don't be a slob, and wear underwear, apparently you're not supposed to take of all your clothes when you jump into a fountain."

"I'll keep that in mind," Steve hastily takes his leave before Calvin can give him any more advice.

"Bathing naked in fountains? Why have you never told me about this?" Tony almost whines. "You should tell your boyfriend these things."

"Why would you like to hear me about me being naked in a fountain? I don't want to hear about you being naked in one. Is this some kind of weird sex thing?"

"I suppose it could be," Clint says as he takes a few steps away, closer to Bruce in case Tony decides to play octopus again. "But I'm guessing he just want to know why you would think it would be ok to jump into a fountain naked."

"It was a dare, but apparently when someone dares you to jump into a fountain without your clothes; they still mean that you should wear your underwear."

*

Suzie lives in a small three room apartment, where the extra room never was made into the planned office and instead got turned into a guestroom. The first thing Steve notice is how cozy the apartment feels.

"Thank you for letting me stay here."

"It's not a problem, just, please tell Mr. Stark to stop sending me messages. I already have four from him and if he doesn't stop I will be forced to sue him for harassment, no matter how entertaining they are."

"Oh, of course. I'll tell him to stop," he hesitates but can't help himself. "What were the messages about?"

"Well one was information on how many hours you're supposed to sleep and you favorite food. Then the next one..."

"No, don't tell me!" Steve puts his face in his hands and groans.

Suzie just laughs at him but instead shows him where everything is. Afterwards, when they're eating dinner she decides it's time to talk.

"So, not that I'm against you using my guestroom, but why are you here?"

"I felt that I couldn't stay in the tower right now. We are in disagreement on something, and I thought it best to leave for a little while."

"And what is this disagreement about?"

"The accord."

"Ah, I see. I take it you don't agree with Calvin then."

"You know the accord?"

"Of course, I've learnt it best to read up on the things Calvin is passionate about. Otherwise I would never be able to stop him from doing something utterly ridiculous or foolish. So what, exactly, is your problem with the accord?"

And Steve, once again, explains why he doesn't trust the accords.

"Have you read the whole thing? Not just the highlights, but the whole document."

"No, but with Ross pushing for them I know enough."

"Steve, I'm not going to tell you that the accords are right or wrong, but unless you actually read them you're not allowed to have an opinion. This is what we'll do; I'm working tomorrow so you have the whole day to yourself. Read as much as you can and then when I come home we can either discuss it or I can explain the more bureaucratic language to you."

When he tries to protest she just gives him a look and he ends up nodding in agreement. He can suddenly understand how she's someone that Calvin listens to.


	2. What's up pussycat?

Meanwhile in the tower Tony is trying to decide if he should agree to invite part of the royal family from Wakanda. Apparently they were interested in discussing the accords with him.

On one hand, they were unknown, the whole country were unknown to most of the world. Besides they had no reason to like him since his father had stolen vibranium from them. On the other hand, they were unknown, and he really liked new discoveries. And he also was interested in their technology. God damn it, it was clear that he would agree to meet them.

Well, at least this would make Pepper happy. She always wanted him to go to more meetings. Usually board meetings, but this had to count for something. And perhaps this would intrigue Steve enough that he would return, or on the other hand it would be fun to be able to ask him if he had fun living in sin the next time they talked. At least he hoped that they lived in sin. Tony made a mental note to remember asking just that.

To Tony's disappointment it took almost two weeks before the meeting took place. He had during this time at least managed to ask Steve if he now lives in sin or if he needed to have the birds and the bees explained. Luckily, for Steve, Suzie had been there and informed Tony that she would be able to answer any questions Steve could have, she didn't think he could ask anything stranger than Calvin ever had asked her. This derailed Tony enough that Steve could cut the call short, mostly since Tony promptly made his way to Calvin's lab to offer his expertise if the younger man would ever have any questions. This proved to be something of a mistake because Calvin immediately asked if sex-pollen actually we're a thing and how they in that case worked. It didn't take long before Bruce was called and they ended up spending the rest of the day, and night, discussing living spaceships or at least organic ones. Afterwards they had no idea how they got from sex-pollen to organic ships, but Tony thought it might have been him who first had said something like orgasmic chips, which was mistaken for organic ships. He wondered if he could somehow grow a ship of some kind, it would of course have its own AI, perhaps a female one. With a Scottish or Irish dialect.

He was still trying to convince Pepper that it would be a good idea to try to grow a plane or ship when he finally met the king and the crown prince. So while the meeting started with talk about the accords and how to improve them it devolved into him trying to explain why a living ship would be a good idea, which of course led to him inviting them to the tower so they could better see his ideas.

While the king seemed more indulgent than interested, the prince seemed intrigued by his idea. It all went well, in Tony's opinion, until they ran into Calvin. 

"And here is Calvin, my boy toy."

The Wakanda's look both confused and horrified at this introduction, but quickly gathered their wits again. Calvin on the other hand gives one glance at the gathered people and grabs Tony's arm to drag him a couple of steps away.

"Are you crazy? You can't just bring another cat here, how do you think that Hobbes will react?"

"Uhm, what?" Is all Tony has the chance to say before a stuffed tiger comes flying through the air, landing on T'Challa who goes down.

"Hobbes! No!" Calvin jumps after his tiger and it’s just luck that he doesn't get skewered by a suddenly appearing sword.

T'Challa on the other hand is lying on the floor wondering how a toy can be so heavy, it doesn't get better when Tony's boy toy grabs it and hurries away muttering about tuna.

"Are you alright son?" T'Chaka asks, trying to sound worried but his amusement is clear.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm not sure what just happened."

"Well, apparently Hobbes took offence to you for some reason, sorry for that by the way, I'm not sure why he attacked you. I mean if that was what he was doing."

"Your lover took offence of me?"

"What? No, double no. First of all, while I call Calvin my boy toy we are not lovers. He just likes being called that after some reporter called him that in an article. Well, to be fair I guess you can say that we are together, I mean from time to time I do spend more time with him in bed than Pepper. Especially when she's all CEO and has to be away for a while. Anyway, second it wasn't Calvin that attacked you it was Hobbes, his stuffed tiger."

"His stuffed tiger?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure why, but he seems to think that you’re a cat of some kind."

"A cat?" T'Challa blinks, wondering how someone from outside his country could know about the Black Panther.

"Yeah," Tony shrugs. "So, you know catfight."

"I see," he said in a tone that made it clear that he didn't in fact see.

One of the, to Tony, nameless SHIELD agents that had decided to follow them around in case there was some kind of international incident started whispering to the king. Most likely explaining who Calvin was.

"No harm done," the king says and his son node in agreement after receiving a look.

"Good, let's continue the tour then. Jarvis, where's Calvin?" It would probably be best to make sure that they didn't meet by accident again.

"The young master has left the building. He asked Loki to pick him up."

"You know I hate it when you call him that, makes me feel old." Tony complains.

"My apologies, sir."

"Yeah, fine." He claps his hands. "Let's get this show in the road."

Luckily there are no other incidents and Tony gets the feeling that they're impressed when they leave. They promise to meet again tomorrow so they can continue talking, and Tony manages to convince them to have the meeting in the tower. Now he just has to sweet-talk Calvin to come back with Hobbes. Having a stuffed tiger taking down a prince was one of the most awesome things he's ever seen.

It doesn't take much to convince Calvin to return, and he arrives in a burst of green sparkles, and Loki.

"Man of iron, it has come to my attention that there's some kind of document you can sign to let the world know of one’s supremenessence."

"I'm pretty sure that's not a real word," is all Tony can think of saying.

Loki sniffs.

"I'm a god; I'm allowed to make up new words."

"I don't think that that's the way it works, but whatever." He waives his hand. "I'm not going to stop you from signing the accords if that's what you want to do."

Loki gives him a look before disappearing back to where he came. Tony eyed Calvin speculative.

"So how did you convince the god of mischief that he should sign the accords?"

"I might have told him that Thor would sign them after he returns here from Asgard, and Loki was more than happy to for once do something before his brother."

"Does he even know what the accords are about?"

"Of course, and he will read them before signing them. Apparently he never sighs something he's never read."

"Well, ok then. I suppose that's fine. Jarvis can you give the UN a heads up about having one of the most famous villains signing the accords."

"Of course sir," Jarvis answered, sounding like he wanted I sigh at his creator.

The next day he only was up bright and early, at least he thought it was early and it was certainly bright. The only thing that made it ok was that Calvin was sitting next to him, clutching a large cup of coffee. And he couldn't even have that since Jarvis announced that he had guests coming up the elevator. Well, at least he was dressed, and Calvin also wearing clothes. He glanced over and sees it's Peppers silk robe he's wearing. Huh, this will not help with explaining Calvin, not that he cared but the younger man would sometimes care about things like that.

"You know they're going to think we're having sex when they see you in that. Where's your own robe anyway?"

"Gone, it exploded a while back."

Before he can ask how Calvin managed that, the elevator arrives and their guests are there. The king greets them with a small amused smile while the prince gives Calvin suspicious glances.

"Ok, so let's go five floors down. I've a meeting room there we can use. Sugar, are you coming like that or are you going to change first?"

Calvin just yawns and follows them back to the elevator.

"I'm pretending to be a Shinigami," he mutters as he sips his coffee.

Tony snorts in amusement; now he knows what the other had been doing while away. As long as Loki didn't try to create a hollow and then release it he didn't care.

It take a while, far longer than he had wanted, but finally there's an accord that's enough done so people can start to sign it. There had just been some unexpected delays. One was the fact that the prince and Hobbes spent all their time looking at each other while in the tower. Calvin finally showed Tony a YouTube video of cats so he could understand what the younger man found so amusing.

Then there’s the fact that someone had the bright idea to put General Ross on the committee that was working with the accord, but he quickly makes enough enemies that he's facing jail time. Well, if Tony should be honest the real reason general Ross is facing jail is because he tried to go after Calvin when he in an interview proclaimed that he would sign the accord as soon as he could. Ross had gotten the idea that this meant that Calvin was a mutant and immediately tried to snatch him, something not only pissed of Loki and Tony but SHIELD as well. Calvin had seen it as proof on how popular he was.

At least this made Bruce relax enough to agree to sign the accord, since he now knew that he wouldn’t end up some kind of test subject.


	3. Signing the dotted line, snapshots

Calvin is, of course, one of the first to sign his name. Somehow his first and last name is written in different styles and colors even though he just used one pen.

*

Loki's signature arrives in the middle of the night when no one is watching, it's green, sparkly and written in runes that the committee has to take in an expert to read. Loki Friggasson, god of mischief and fire.

*

Somehow Deadpool and Bucky arrives at the same time. Bucky carrying his small horse and Deadpool his hand.

"Ah, hey there! Need a hand?"

Bucky gives him a look, but has spent enough time around Calvin to know how to respond.

"Naw, that alright, I have my little pony."

"Really?" Deadpool grins under his mask. "What's her power then?"

"Cuteness," Bucky says deadpan and holds up the horse.

Deadpool swoons.

"You know, I think that this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. I'm Deadpool, Merc and lover of Mexican food."

"Bucky, sniper and former assassin," he shakes the hand Deadpool gives him and then gives it back. "Shouldn't you try and reattach that thing?"

"Huh? No, it'll grow out again in a while."

"If you say so."

Deadpool's signature is not so much a signature as a blood splatter with some ink showing here and there. Bucky's has small hooves print all over.

*

The Avengers arrives together to sign, even Steve who seems shocked when he sees Bucky's name on those whose already signed. Tony snickers when Bruce gets the question if the Hulk would want to sign for himself later, apparently Calvin had tried to convince them to get a crayon big enough so the Hulk would be able to write his name. Clint just rolls his eyes while Bruce tries to explain that it would be a bad idea for him to Hulk out here just so his alter ego could sign. Natasha sighs and mutters something in Russia when at least a couple of persons look disappointed when they realize that the Hulk won't make an appearance. Thor arrives just as they're leaving and proclaims that he must read this Midgardian manuscript and discuss it with the all father before he can sign. He then became quite upset when he noticed the way Loki had signed and leaves as quickly as he arrived, in search of his brother.

*

The fantastic four arrives at the same time as Doctor Doom. This causes quite the stir of everyone else than them.

"Victor, we haven't seen you in a while," She says to him, more friendlily than one would think her to be with a supervillain.

"Doctor Doom has been too busy to engage in frivolity."

"Oh, doing what?" They both ignore Reed's mutter about talking in third person.

"Doctor Doom is currently in negotiations with Loki, he has proved to have knowledge that would be of help in an experiment."

"Loki?! You want to work with Loki?" Reed can't help himself. "I would have thought that you'd have sense to stay away from him after last time."

"Doctor Doom does not know what you're talking about," Doom says, he still can't stand to drink carbonated beverages, not that he will admit that.

"We were stranded in the Caribbean on a wooden ship dressed like pirates! Poor pirates even, a straw hat is not what I would think pirates would wear."

"You were the one wearing it; Doom has no need for that kind of headwear."

"I don't understand why you're complaining, I thought it was great!" Johnny says with a grin.

"You at least had a cowboy hat."

"Don't forget my awesome tattoo!"

They both give him an unimpressed look.

"It was a tattoo with a spelling mistake," Reed finally says.

"Not that one, the one I had on my back!"

"Doom never saw that, he only saw the one on your arm."

"Fine," Johnny sighs. "At least I had a cool hat and the food was great."

The other two just has to nod their heads in agreement, they still couldn't understand how Gordon Ramsay had ended up as the cook, and both were still impressed with the skill he'd shown with knifes.

Before the discussion can become even more ridiculously Sue interrupt them.

"You never told me what you were working on."

"Doom will show you his greatest idea yet," he pulls out his phone and gives it to her.

"Oh! It's adorable."

"It's called Poochi, and it's from a children's show about three young girls with superpowers flying around. Doom needs Loki to help him with making it real. Doom can, and has built it, but even though he has programmed it correctly it still isn't real. Doom thought that since Loki likes to makes cartoons real, he would be able to help with this."

"Let me see!" Johnny snatches the phone so he can look, both Reed and Ben looking over his shoulders. "Heh! You're hoping to keep out Hobbes with your own watchdog."

"Be nice," Ben tells him and gives the pen he has over to Sue so she can sign.

"I can't believe it, I was to sign first!" Johnny snatches the pen from Sue, and gives the phone back to her at the same time, so he can sign before her.

Reed takes the pen next, with a smirk at the supervillain. Doom rolls his eyes and produces his own pen and quickly signs before the other.

"Doom will leave you now; he has more important business to attend."

Reed grumbles in response, but quiets down when Sue elbows him in the stomach. He just gives her the pen next so she can finally sign.

"Good luck!" Sue calls after him.

 

*

 

Those working where people come to sign the accord and ask questions are more than grateful that the so called Supreme Sorcerer has put up some kind of non-hostile barrier around the buildings. It made those arriving less prone to attack each other and those around, and instead more calm and rational. It wouldn’t stop those that arrived just so they could attack, but kept most people calmer than they otherwise would have been. Like when two blue persons arrive close to each other, one with a tail and three fingers, the other one with red hair and clearly female since she wasn’t wearing clothes. They ended up looking at each other for a long moment before the male on made a small bow and with a German accent allowed the other one to enter first.

 

*

 

Then there was the time some kind of Asian person came by with either a bunch of animals following him or strange looking people. Those that saw him could never quite agree on which one was correct. He didn’t sign the accord but instead asked a lot of questions on what would happen to those that broke the rules that they agreed to follow, how they would end up punished. He also smiled proudly when he saw that Calvin Hobbes had signed.  He somehow left behind a strange plant that those working there almost religiously followed the rules on how to care for. In another part of the world no one noticed when a pair of twins broke into a signing office in the middle of the night, to first sign the accord and then they loudly started arguing on how to lure the Avengers over so they could kill Tony Stark and destroy all those around him.  They were so engrossed that they didn’t notice when tendrils suddenly flowed out of the walls and engulfed them, swallowing them whole. In New York a plant suddenly sprouted two small flowers and in a pet shop two cages was suddenly occupied.


End file.
